weirdest day ever
January 31, 2005, 7:11 pm
I started the day with numb thumbs and fingers due to developing a case of pregnancy carpel tunnel syndrome over the weekend, which is a dream come true for any professional transcriptionist. I also haven't been sleeping very well AND the baby has been kicking the you know what out of me lately, so I sort of limped into work feeling like it wasn't going to be my best day. And my shirt had a stain on it right where people look the most, which is on my gigantic bump.So I struggled through the day and left a little early and decided to do some baby type errands. While walking down busy, busy, busy, crowded 34th Street a somewhat crazy man ran into me sort of on purpose and kept pushing past me in a totally unnecessary way. It was so shocking to be treated roughly like that and it brought sad little tears to my eyes because I'm so sensitive and delicate. A man who witnessed the whole thing ran to me and comforted me, saying things like, "I can't believe that man! Are you okay? These people are disgusting! They won't even get up for a pregnant lady on the subway train half the time!" He was so supportive and loving that it made me kind of cry. Again, I'm so sensitive and delicate. I assured him I was fine and then went into a store and bought a glider rocking chair to make me feel better. I ordered delivery and began to head home.
And then I got on the craziest subway train ever. There was a seemingly normal looking woman across from me either drunk out of her mind or in a diabetic coma. Everyone was trying to kind of help her as she kept falling out of her seat, along with her glasses and purse and bags. It was very unsettling and I was praying she was merely passed out drunk and not dying. Then a very old man who claimed he had a broken arm and needed to get to Far Rockaway immediately so he could get it looked at (Far Rockaway is the entirely opposite direction of where he was) got up to change trains and collapsed onto the ground violently. Everyone screamed and shouted for the conductor, including the drunk/dying woman who suddenly woke up, and before I knew it the train was out of commission while they waited for EMS to come and save the broken armed spatially challenged man. All I could think of was, "This would be a heck of a time to go into labor."
So eventually I got home and our Baby Bjorn carrier had arrived from Mama Judy! Troy excitedly tried it on, and frankly, it didn't look quite right. I think he had it up too high or something. He put baby doll Heather into it to get a feel for everything when there was a knock on our door. It was our new glider rocking chair! And Troy was trapped in a Baby Bjorn with a baby doll in it. He frantically tried to get it off and the whole thing was so absurd that I wet my pants a little bit and ran into the bathroom where I began to laugh very loudly and somewhat hysterically. Troy awkwardly told the delivery man, "My wife is laughing in there like that because I can't get this thing off."
And now Troy is trying to hang hooks up in our bathroom because I need them for cute baby bath robes and things. He is sighing a little louder than necessary, if you ask me. Max barks when he hammers. Just another day in the life of a slightly bonkers pregnant woman.
;)
[ 8 comments ] ( 88 views )slimy white lizard
January 25, 2005, 9:25 pm
We just returned from our third childbirth class, and this evening we were shown a film that included some live births.Okay, so I've decided to change my mind about this whole having a baby thing. It's too gross for me.
Actually, it wasn't what the women were going through that made me squirm in my chair and scream as if I was watching a horror movie. What really got me was when the baby was coming out and it looked white and slimy and lizard-like. The doctors were frantically suctioning the poor little thing as it was in the process of coming out. Frankly, it looks like a lot of scary work for such an innocent little thing that's been so nice and warm for all these months. I began to feel so sorry for our little fetus creature.
When we got off the train here in our neighborhood we ran into a friend who has a five year old and she asked how we were. We still had a shell shocked look on our faces and we explained to her that we were no longer excited about having a lizard baby. She went on to talk about her own little lizard and how the moment is so much bigger than anything else and that when they laid the lizard on her belly he felt like velvet and was beautiful even though really he was a slimy white lizard. Then she said to me something like, "Honey, you will have been so disgusting by then that you won't care anymore about gross things."
Strangely encouraging that was. But still.[ 2889 comments ] ( 71 views )
practice by pappy t
January 21, 2005, 4:35 pm
look.;)
this is not a superfancy ultrasound image of our baby.
it's a practice baby photo. the subject is jonny's childhood baby doll named Heather.
isn't Heather a pretty little thing?
i'm getting in some practice...[ 16 comments ] ( 62 views )
touche by troy
January 21, 2005, 9:10 am
a needy blog reader has pointed out that we have been slacking in our duties. the point is well-taken. we do apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused and promise to do better in the very immediate future.let's blog, people![ 20 comments ] ( 39 views )
progress by jonny & troy
January 13, 2005, 8:08 pm
Jonny: some may say we're a little behind on the whole baby room thing, but we like it when people tell us, "oh, all you need are some onesies, diapers, wipes and Vaseline if you're going to circumsize him. You'll be fine." Nonetheless, we have begun to decorate the room.behold our progress:
;)
Troy: that window shade is some of my finest handiwork to date. I hung them pictures, too!
And that's not all! Jonny went and repainted her childhood toybox that we've lugged all over tarnation these many years. She ran out of paint, though, poor thing.
But ain't she pretty?
;)
[ 20 comments ] ( 85 views )blind date
January 12, 2005, 12:56 pm
Yesterday was our first childbirth class and it was pretty neat. Mainly it was fun to be with 12 other couples all in the same boat as us. Everyone had similar fears and anxieties and excitement because this was their first baby, too. One woman said she feels like meeting the baby is going to be like a blind date. I like how that sounds. I've got this date (although I don't know the day) with this guy that I've been told I'm really going to like, and I'm kind of excited about it and I'm very nervous about it. What if we don't get along? What if he doesn't look the way I hoped? What if he doesn't like me? What if we're awkward and don't know what to say? Do I pay or let him? It's nerve-wracking to be out on the dating scene again.[ 28 comments ] ( 87 views )prepare for pictures, people
January 5, 2005, 10:08 pm
We feel you should all be warned that the Schremmers now have a digital camera. We've had it a few days now and have taken close to 500 pictures. Can you imagine us with a digital camera AND a baby? This could get crazy. When we bought the camera the saleswoman gave us five dollars off "for the baby." We thought that was awfully sweet.Also my insides are now officially black and blue. I am a little nervous to meet this guy. At our doctor's appointment yesterday we were listening to his heartbeat and every few seconds there would be this really loud noise ... kind of like a monster stepping on something. The doctor giggled and said that this was him kicking, to which I nodded knowingly with a bitter look on my face. I like it best when he just squirms around real cute-like.
;)
[ 29 comments ] ( 112 views )